Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Family Planning

I recently read a couple of blog posts (this one) and (this one) about family planning. No, these were not about birth control, just about the different decisions going into planning a family. The questions posed made me think about the decisions DH and I have made over the years. I wanted to post my answers to these questions for your reading pleasure.

What factors contribute to your decision on how many kids to have? When DH and I talked of children, we both wanted several. The question was when to start this future basketball team. I could say that we considered our financial situation, my health, our age, and our education and careers before choosing to bring a new life into the world, but that would be a lie. If that was the deciding factor we might not have kids. In all honesty, we chose to have each child when the time was right. That's it, no magical number or scientifically proven spacing of children, just good old, prayerful listening to the quiet whisperings of the Holy Spirit. That isn't to say we had no say in the matter, looking back I think that a loving Father in Heaven sent those promptings when we were ready to receive them.

What role does your religious faith have in the decision? A key role. In my adult life I've heard a great deal of council on the subject from church leaders. I know that families are central to God's plan for us as stated in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World." I also know that we shouldn't put off having children for reasons of financial gain (house, car, whatever). President Benson said that "children—not possessions, not position, not prestige—are our greatest jewels." These are teachings I know to be true. The key is having the faith necessary to put this knowledge into action.

Do you worry about overpopulation? I'm not concerned with the number of children people have or don't have. I am concerned about our earth and the way we as humans choose to live in it. I'm worried about overconsumption of resources, failure to re-cycle, and urban sprawl to name a few. Henry B. Eyring wrote ". . . Heavenly Father would not command men and women to marry and to multiply and replenish the earth if the children they invited into mortality would deplete the earth. Since there is enough and to spare, the enemy of human happiness as well as the cause of poverty and starvation is not the birth of children. It is the failure of people to do with the earth what God could teach them to do if only they would ask and then obey, for they are agents unto themselves."

Do you feel like you’ll be able to reenter (or stay) in the workforce after you have children (if you even want to)? It has never been my intention to have a career or reenter the workforce after my child rearing years are over. When we were dating, DH and I agreed that I should stay at home and be there for our little brood and he would do the career thing. That didn't negate the need for me to get a good education and so I graduated with a Masters Degree from BYU and worked as an audiologist for a few years. When the time came that DH could support us with his income alone, it was difficult for me to continue with "the plan." My career was blossoming. There were roads ahead of me with opportunity labeled all over them. I was enjoying my work and the people I worked with. Deciding to switch gears and focus my efforts on our already growing family wasn't easy. I still think about audiology and being in the work force (although, I don't miss dictating letters to physicians, trying to find a babysitter when A was sick, or being so tired when I came home). I don't know if some day perhaps I might step on that path again. I do know that what I am doing right now within the walls of my own home is where I should be and where I have the most influence and can experience the greatest rewards.

Is your husband’s helpfulness a factor in deciding whether or not to have a big family? My husband is and has always been helpful in rearing our children. If he weren't, I believe I might be in the looney bin by now, so it is probably safe to say that we wouldn't have five children if my husband weren't the great support that he is.

Brian's thoughts - Julie had me read through her response and the only thought I have had is the role of faith in this. Being willing to pray and go with the answers you receive. We were poor college students with A, lived in a small apartment with Boo. The pregnancy with Boo put Julie in the hospital. With G, Julie and I were still in a small apartment hoping for a new job and a home. Then G ended up coming a month early and was hospitalized for a week. During the pregnancy with little B, Julie struggled with thyroid problems that caused her to need to sleep all the time. With each of these it would have been easy to say no more but each time we felt peace and knew that it would work out. You know....it always has. Sometimes fasting was necessary, lots of prayers and lots of blessings but through the experience we have learned that God is interested in what our family is up to and is willing to help when we ask.

To my fellow bloggers - I've answered these questions with the advantage of hind sight. It is easier to see the road you've been traveling than the one yet to come. Also, just because the road I've chosen is the right one for me, doesn't mean that I think it is the ONLY road. I am not naive enough to think that situations and circumstances don't play into decisions made and paths chosen. Family planning is a deeply personal topic. If you feel like sharing your answers to these questions or just a comment or two, I'd love to read your thoughts on the subject.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Gardening = War

There’s nothing like enjoying a harvest. It’s a beautiful thing to plant this little seed and nurture it into something life sustaining. On the other hand, there is the weeding and watering and the killing of the bugs. I saw these little buggers a month ago in my garden, just lazily procreating and laying their little tiny eggs on the leaves of the zucchini. No big deal – DH got out the bug spray and “took care of our little pest problem.” Yet the bugs were still there going about their business as usual. DH tried a more powerful bug killer the next time. Four days later our zucchini plant shriveled up and died! These squash bugs are harder to kill than ROUS’s (That’s rodents of unusual size). Not only do they laugh at our attempts to wipe them out with chemicals, they know I’m coming and hide before I can get them. They are ugly and really gross to squish. Now they have laid their little eggs all over my pumpkin leaves. When they hatch, the tiny little spider-like babies are going to suck the plant dry. So all I can say is – GAME ON! You bugs are going down! I will be making pumpkin pies and carving jack-o-lanterns and you are not going to stop me!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Teenager --

It all started in another time and place - DH (That's short for my Dear Husband) and I were poor college students at BYU. Along comes A. So tiny and sweet. We were smitten with this child that marked the beginning our child raising years.
13 years = walking, talking, 1st tooth, 1st day of preschool, then Kindergarten, learning to read, playing soccer, riding a bike, learning to roller blade, wrestling, chess club, scouts, baptism, priesthood ordination, schooling, and now here we are at another milestone called TEENAGER! Teenagers go through so much in such a short time frame, it is no wonder they are generally described using these adjectives: Bad attitude, know-it-all, hormonal, defiant, never wrong, can't be bothered, "Whatttt-EVer!" I have already seen these attitudes in A, but I've got a positive outlook and am going to enjoy every minute of his teenager-hood. In fact, having a teenager around can be really fun. He's old enough to understand my jokes, he helps watch his younger siblings, he and I have similar tastes in books, he mows the lawn and shovels the walk and he knows that he is our 1st child and therefore is the "guinea pig" in our parenting schemes. With only 5 more years with him under my roof I plan to have as much fun with him and influence on him as I possibly can!
HAPPY 13th!!!

Friday, July 18, 2008

Family Reunion in Bryce Canyon

Last weekend we spent 4 days in Southern Utah with my extended family on my dad's side. These were much anticipated events when I was growing up. I remember many a summer spent at these reunions: We would fish for crawdads (which was really easy when you had a piece of bologna at your disposal), play around the camp fire, eat watermelon till my tummy would want to burst, play games in Aunt Willie's camper (spoons was my favorite), and explore underground caves (I think it's called Hole in the Rock).

This reunion was packed with fun memories as well. We took the scenic route to Bryce Canyon by way of Cove Fort. The kids learned about Ira Hinckley and the way of life for those living in the Fort.
We stopped at Big Rock Candy Mountain and bought rock candy of course. Then we continued our drive and enjoyed the scenery of Red Canyon. We finally pulled into Ruby's Inn and set up our tent and had dinner.

I doubt you want a play by play, but for posterity sake let me do a quick summary: We ate, swam, hiked, got stuck in a downpour in the canyon, did crafts, shot some clay pigeons, whacked some pinatas, visited with aunts, uncles, and cousins, swam some more, skipped rocks across the pond, climbed on the big rocks, went shopping, DH watched the sunrise over the hoodoos, hiked some more (this time it didn't rain and we hiked the Navajo Loop), then we drove home (only we took the short route this time). We got a little sunburned, I had one major panic attack (hiking with 5 kids is stressful), but most of all we enjoyed ourselves and made some great memories.

I couldn't limit myself to just a few pictures, so I made a slide show -

Great new way to give kids hair cuts -

BEFORE - I guess I took too long getting done with this haircut. He finally just fell asleep which made it easier than ever to cut his hair. I think I'll do haircuts during nap times from now on.

DURING -
AFTER -

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Court of Honor

A was honored to receive his Tenderfoot and 2nd Class rank as well as several merit badges. Way to go A! I am so proud of you!

4th of July --

The 4th of July weekend started on Tuesday the 2nd when we started digging a hole in our back yard for our trampoline. These teenagers are from Arizona and came to do yard work as part of a service project for youth belonging to an evangelical church. They were a great help and got us started on a very big project.

On the 3rd, we dug more of our hole, and started on some landscaping in our back yard.
On the 4th, we dug more of our hole, and went to my mom's for dinner with the works! Dinner AND fireworks that is! The kids couldn't wait to fire 'em up!
On the 5th, we dug more of our hole - (digging is easier when the soil is a little wet, but I daresay, we were sinking in the mud!) Then we went to DH's parents' house for water games, dinner and fireworks!

The kids all had fun getting wet and getting their dad's wet. After they all dried off, we started the show. Here's "The Guys" who were in charge of lighting the fireworks -

Here's DH and S enjoying the show -
And Boo with her cousin B decked out with their glow sticks -
And here's little B watching the fireworks with his great grandpa!

I wanted to post some thoughts about patriotism and how blessed we are to live here in this country, but my words wouldn't do it justice. Let me just say that living in Korea and celebrating the 4th of July at the military base there really opened my eyes to the privilege it is to be a citizen of this country.