A Night Out -

Last night I got to go to the General Relief Society Meeting in the Conference Center with some friends from my ward. The talks were all very good, though I was doing a little head nodding through some of it but you can't blame me since it was dark and quiet and the only time the noise stops in my house is when everyone is sleeping.

Anyway, I think that I've been feeling a lack of "JOY" in my life as I move through my days doing laundry, preparing meals, and picking up toys just to go to bed and do it all again the next day. That's just the little stuff. I have been feeling overwhelmed with trying to DO everything that needs doing as a mother, a wife, a music leader, a friend, a sister, and so on. I was complaining to my husband Friday night about it and I knew that those things were not going to change, it was my attitude that was going to need to change, but how? I really felt like there was a big ugly wall in front of me. Fast forward to the next evening when Sister Barbara Thompson quoted President Monson as saying, “As you and I go to the holy houses of God, as we remember the covenants we make within, we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. In this sacred sanctuary we will find peace; we will be renewed and fortified.” And then she talked about the true joy and happiness that comes from keeping covenants. I really perked up at the word JOY. I like that word. It means so much more than just "happy." Joy is like rejoicing in life and feeling that all your burdens are light.

President Uchtdorf spoke afterwards and from his first point when he said "Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves..." I knew I needed to hear his message. I don't think I'm the only one who got something out of his message last night and that the message I got through the Spirit was what I needed to hear and that if you listened to him, you would get the message that you need to hear. I was just so surprised to be feeling utterly desperate and overwhelmed and the answer came so quickly and that I have direction now that I couldn't see before. I'm so glad that the Spirit speaks to each of us and that our trials matter to our loving Father and his son Jesus Christ.

BYU Women's Conference

I headed South on Wednesday night and joined my Colorado friends (Cheri and Shari) and their friends (Angie, Cozette, Kris, Becky, and Robin) for a little R&R. My DH took Thursday and Friday off of work to stay at home with the kids. Us girls stayed in a hotel in Provo and spent two days attending classes at BYU Women's Conference, shopping, eating, playing, shopping, and did I mention shopping? Truth be told, I didn't spend much, just bought a couple of CD's (this and this) for my DH and got a few gifts for the kids (this and that). Mostly, I filled myself with enlightening presentations aimed at giving me a deeper spiritual base from which I might draw on.

Adriane Gil presented ideas on how to talk to your teenager. This was one of the most informative lectures I attended. I'm going to try to reiterate her thoughts to better cement them in my brain.

Number 1 - Do your homework;
She quoted D&C 9:7-8 which reads - Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

We as parents should be prepared (take time to think about and prepare) to ask our teenagers pertinent individual questions. Utilize resources -internet to check on grades, or be aware of school events; text message about an upcoming test, etc...

Number 2 - Be quick to show compassion and slow to judge;
She quoted President Monson as saying "refrain from judging others." She talked about how we as parents should not pass judgement on our teenager's friends. In doing so, we may cut off communication with our teen. When issues or concerns arise and our teenager needs to talk with us concerning thier friends, they will do so unless we have already closed that door.

Number 3 - Demonstrate patience and respect;
She said that sometimes we send a barage of advice and/or demands to our teens. How much interaction do you have during the day that doesn't include a demand or advice? In the book "The Good Teen" by Lerner, research showed that when parents stepped in to help their teen with a school project or homework, the teens grades may or may not have improved, but always their confidence went down. Sister Gil pointed out that in 2 Nephi 25:26 - (And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ ...) the word "talk" appears first and seperately from the word "preach."

And if that weren't enough, following Adriane Gil's presentation, John Bytheway also spoke on communicating with your teen. One thing that really stuck out for me was when he said that we as parents should ask ourselves, "What is it like to be parented by me?" Do you begin a sentence with the following phrases: "You should" or "you must" or "Don't forget to.."? What incentive are you giving your teenager to talk with you? In my case - NOT A LOT!

I hope to take their advice to heart and more carefully prepare for future conversations even with my preteens. Anyone out there with teenagers? Does this stuff jive with you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Welcome Back . . .

Just wanted to say "WELCOME HOME ELDER BLACK!" My nephew recently returned from serving the LDS church for two years in Switzerland. We went to church with him on Sunday and got to hear him recount faith building experiences from his mission. We are so glad to have him back and will try overlook the fact that he is planning to attend the U of U instead of the best school on the face of the earth, my Alma Mater, the Y.

Eight year olds and accountability

Last month, my eight year old G was baptized a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was a special day for him. He was baptized by immersion in a font at our church. Then several family members (who have priesthood authority) layed hands upon his head while my husband confirmed him a member of the church and gave him a sweet blessing.

Here's the pictures:



As a mother, it is awesome to see my little boy take this step. It is interesting that as his brain begins to understand the meaning of choice and consequences that he would be given the opportunity to make a choice of this magnitude and be held accountable by his Father in Heaven for his actions. I hope he understands that he is NOT perfect and will make mistakes, but he can learn to make good choices and will be guided by the spirit to make such choices.

Primary Music Leader

I just finished reading a blog post about Primary Music Leaders (PML). I was intrigued since this is my current calling (assignment - for those of you who don't speak Mormonese). I'll have to admit, he had some great ideas and made me laugh my guts out in the process. Please read this one for me. Here's the link - Normal Mormon Husband
I think the SNL cast member quality is the most important one to have. "The pressure to perform is on every single Sunday for the PML to do something fresh and innovative. She has to devise creative games, prizes, contests, props and pictures to keep things new and exciting during music time. As soon as she starts recycling material, she will lose her audience. Once a week for 48 weeks it's lights! Camera! Singing Time!" (Normal Mormon Husband blog post Friday November 14)